Uncomplicated…?

Misunderstanding one of the main issue faced by many because of complex thinking or silly presumptions. Things kept simple seems complicated than before because of the demand on “out-of-the-box’ thinking. Why is it so hard to keep things simple? Why is it hard to be happy with simple things in life? Society expectations? Is it? Well, that’s really sad. When you know expectation is your greatest enemy, why do you still entertain it? Is it an unwanted guest? Is it an unavoidable important person? Why is it given so much importance? Do we feel that we don’t fit in this society? Why do we face this? Is it because of the judgmental society or is it our own expectation that we are trying to reach? Is there any competition you feel you need to win? Is it all real? What I found that is working is the principle called ‘survival of the fittest’. Are we living or surviving? Is it sad that we are surviving or sad that we are not living? Sometimes, for some, surviving would be living in their eyes. And for some, living is the survival. How do we see this? With what distortion lenses should we see this? Optimism is positivity or is it a survival trick to see survival as living? What is it? Is pessimism a survival trick to see the show the possible danger? Why do people call it bad? Seeing the danger is a bad thing? Isn’t it survival? Unrealistic optimism is where we falter. Unwanted pessimism is the place where we falter. Why is it kept so complicated? Why should we complicate things like these? Why do we have to rectify other’s opinion when it’s none of our business? Why do people have to worry about unnecessary?  What is the point in knowing when you can’t change it (lyrics from ‘to be human by Sia). When the mind is constantly asking for information and then cries because of overload of information and mixing the information and processing a wrong output and delivering a wrong message? What bug in the mind is the problem? What thoughts are slowing our progress? What thoughts are elevating us? What thoughts are destroying us? What thoughts are destroying the ideas that are born? What thoughts kill the brilliant idea that could help oneself and others? These thoughts are survival mechanism to help us. But what have we done to it? Complicate it? Reading this would make us think why is everything written here is complicated, but that’s the reality. What we are we are doing is complicating it. Do you think that emotions complicate things? If there were no emotions then everything would have been on simple mechanism ‘survival=living’.

Our emotions play a role in living. We judge whether we are living or surviving based on tour emotions and not on the things that we have. Each one has different level of satisfaction. We feel happy when we have a beautiful house decorated according to our expectation. Once accomplished it becomes ‘we are living’ factor. Did you notice what all are involved in this living? Emotions, expectations and things. How are these getting connected so well? One imbalance leads to a judgment that we are not living. Is it silly? Is it true? Isn’t it how it’s been working?

So what’s complicated? What is going on? Should we think about it and get back to work? Or should we contemplate and start over thinking on it and complicate it? Or should we contemplate and devise a better way to live or just chuck this and move on with what we are doing?

Just my thoughts while working…

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Dear mind, It’s 2am.

I started writing this in the midnight as I had a flash of memory that usually comes up just before I sleep. How I wish it was a pleasant one. Well, I remember the list of awkward things that happened in my life, totally cringe worthy, right before sleeping. And believe me, they are unavoidable thoughts. For most of them it might not seem to be so awkward. But counting myself who belongs to an introvert group, I really do feel those moments are truly awkward.

              As an introvert being, I was often told that I must come out, talk to people, participate in discussions etc. and these ideas really take away my sleep. I do have a set of friends I am comfortable with. And then there are people who ask “why don’t you talk?” .To this my answer is always an awkward smile which I can’t help. Maybe because I don’t have interesting topic to talk on? Or the topics I can talk are completely out of the world? Some days are so frustrating that I have loads of words stuck in my throat but sure that my tongue is going to fail me.

 In the class when the teacher asked a question, I was totally unsure about the answer and then my guesses turned out to be right (which I never said aloud). One day I decided that I am going to give the answer no matter what. It was General knowledge class (5th grade). At that age I had this interest in general knowledge because I felt it was easy and real facts. My teacher asked a question, “Name a word in English that contains all the vowels”. As I was excited to answer (actually freaking out), I didn’t listen to what she asked. I heard only ‘vowels’. The class topper got up and went to her and whispered (my teacher was confident that that boy knew the answer). The girl next to me got up and went to the blackboard and started writing. She wrote ‘definite’. I was wondering what new vowel is that that I don’t know. As told to myself that today is a big day to answer, I raised my hand and went forward to answer the question. With full confidence I picked up the chalk and wrote “AEIOU”. There was a moment of silence, and then a roar behind me. I turned back in a slow motion to see what was happening. Oh God! That’s it. I was glad that I gave them a good laugh, but then there was this inner me who said “damn it, you screwed it! What were you thinking”.

    I understood one thing, better clear your facts and listen before taking action. Teachers had a big complaint that I never spoke. Yes! I never did! Once my math teacher told my parents that I’m very talkative. Believe me that was the best compliment I ever got and my parents had a sigh of relief (they didn’t encourage it though).

Another embarrassing moment for me was the DJ at the mall. I was in 7th grade. My parents thought that I have a lot of talent and one of them was dancing. I sucked big time in that! They thought pushing me onto the dancefloor would ignite that dancing dragon in me and set the stage on fire. Well, the dancefloor was packed with small kids, like 4-5 years old kids which included my sister who knew how to dance. And there was me, who stood tall like a flamingo in the middle of some sparrow group. I guess the DJ knew that I really don’t know dance and I only knew the signature step of ‘hare ram hare ram’ from the movie Bhoolbulaiya (this movie was released then). I don’t understand why, but the DJ decided to get the track stuck on ‘hare ram’ chorus and I had only one step to do. Either he was trying to help me out by playing the chorus part for my step or he was having a good laugh behind. Well, I thoroughly got embarrassed. I ran down because I couldn’t take it. It was pretty lame, but I still can’t forget it. Even now I think, what made them push me for such stuff. They were trying to help me, but somehow it didn’t’ turn out well.

  And life went on, I got better. Until I was asked to give a command. I was a part of military training in my school and there was an amazing instructor who came to teach us. She was among the group of instructors who came to our school. I admired the way she carried herself and her confidence. In one of the session, we were taught how to command. So actually instead of teaching they made us command because practice makes it better. I was in squad 2 where she and another sir were the instructors. My eyes were glued on her. Each cadet was called out to give command. After few boys gave their command, the sir said that if we were unable to make up the command or don’t have the idea how to do it then we could follow the way any of the instructor did. So I was prepared that I was going to give command like her. My turn came. I took a deep breath. And gave the command. Now the twist is that instead of commanding like her, I imitated her unintentionally (unleashing the mimicry artist in me). And as usual, there was a roar of laughter, fortunately including her. And I was the star of the day.

 

All these embarrassments do take away my sleep, nevertheless they are sometimes the reason I smile before sleeping. Yet I haven’t shared other embarrassing incident probably because I don’t want to think about it and have a sleepless night again.

So see you later folks!

Thanks for reading.